Written by Mila Lumae
We know many of you are skeptical, but the government is hoarding our water and taking away our freedom to take long showers and water our extensive patches of grass. So I’m sure you have heard of the water crisis and how we need to ration it to “save” the planet or whatever, but it is all a hoax. Why would there not be enough water? Last time I checked 71% of our planet is covered in water and that includes those humongous oceans. Clearly this corrupt power-hungry, money-stealing government just wants to assert their control over us so they can have all the water they need when the apocalypse hits. Remember those forest fires that OregonLive released news about that “burned half of the nation” this summer? That was a sham, all edited and photo shopped for the news just like the moon landing. They think they can take our water and disguise it as an environmental issue, well they will regret it when we fight back. Here are some tips so you can continue watering your Las Vegas Golf Course all you want, or whatever it is you use your water for.
Surround your home with barbed wire fencing or electric fencing (this keeps out the aliens and Hillary Clinton’s evil clone too)
Buy at least 8 – 1000 gallon water tanks so you always have plenty of water in case they decide to cut off your supply (make sure to keep your tanks hidden; this will be essential to your survival)
I hope these tips are helpful for you, because they have been for me. Ever since I invested in these protective measures the government has never come to my house and tried to take my water, so it certainly must be working. Do your part as a true American and protect your freedom to use as much water as you want, because that is your right. Global warming and this “water crisis” are absolutely fake.
Sincerely,
SATWC (Society Against the “Water Crisis”)
Categories: The Radish
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